Fashion, Evolved

The heat is on, bitches!  Last week we said buh-bye to Keith, who gave us our first real tearful breakdown of the season.  I would like to feel bad, but I don’t.

This week, we open the episode in the ladies’ quarters.  Leanne and Kenley are in the bathroom sharing the mirror like sorority sisters.  Leanne wonders what the next challenge will be and Korto, who appears to be listening from the other room says it will be ‘something with innovation’ as she picks out her rad hair.  Stella is in the kitchen trying to figure out how to make coffee.  She is wearing a black string bikini top that is completely inappropriate for a communal food preparation area.

Suede interviews that he’s mad Keith left because now he has to move in with the other dudes and it’s like starting over from the beginning.  BUT!  There’s only four guys left, and he’s proud to be one of the last four standing.

On the runway, Heidi gives the Leanne her choice of models.  Leanne sticks with Caroline.  Yay.

Heidi then brings out a ‘special guest’ to tell them about their next challenge.  It turns out to be Tim Gunn.  Very special, indeed.  He tells them that they will be designing an outfit for a fashion legend and he is taking them to meet the fashion legend NOW.

They walk down the street following Tim in Untouchables formation.  I wonder how they aren’t blocking traffic.  I mean, seriously, they are walking side by side down the middle of the street.  It seems a little weird.  Blayne interviews that he hopes they will be designing for Mary Kate (Olsen).  He says he wants to marry Mary Kate…and after all, who doesn’t?  Besides Tim Gunn, that is.

They show up at a posh looking office, and suddenly, Diane von Furstenberg descends from the staircase, looking more fabulous than all the designers put together.  Kenely tearfully interviews that this is the biggest opportunity she’s ever had.

DvF tells the group that they are going to design an outfit based on the Marlene Dietrich film A Foreign Affair.  They will get to visit her sample room and pick out fabrics (WOW!) and…the winner will have their outfit produced by American Express and sold to their members.  Part of the proceeds will go to the CFDA Foundation.  This, my friends, is a FABULOUS challenge!

Tim lets the designers loose on DvF’s fabrics for fifteen minutes. Stella whines that she can’t get her fabrics of the shelf.  Tim tells her to move on.  She whines some more.  Kenley rips a bunch of it off the shelf and gives it to her.  Bolts of fabric are flying off the shelves, being drug across the floor, and basically pillaged like a village.  Terri gloats that she found some amazing fabric with fireworks printed on it.  I must respectfully disagree.

Back at Parson’s, Leanne interviews that she’s stoked she won the last challenge and even though she has immunity, she still wants to win this challenge.  I like Leanne, so I agree with her.  Joe says that most of the outfits in the DvF lookbook are layered, meaning that it’s a good  opportunity to do multiple pieces.  Kenley then interviews that she is only doing one piece.  Ruh Ro!  Blayne is working with all black material, which is highly unusual. He says he wants to win because he keeps ending up on the chopping block.  He says at least he’s not doing the same pair of pants over and over again like ‘some’ people.  (coughcoughTerricough).  Camera cuts to Terri who is, in fact, trying on a freshly made pair of pants.  She seems extremely satisfied with the results.  Joe and Blayne make fun of Terri’s fireworks fabric while she’s forcing Korto to admire her pants.

Leanne, Terri and Stella are eating lunch talking about their designs.  Stella interviews that she doesn’t trust Terri.  Join the club, Stella.  She refuses to tell them what she is making for this challenge.  Terri tells  Korto in the sewing room and Korto babbles about how it doesn’t matter if someone else is making the same thing because it’ll all come out on the runway. Leanne interviews that it is interesting to see everyone getting competitive and that it’s “every man for himself right now.”

Joe is showing Jerrell his design.  Jerrell is smirking in a way that clearly says he is not worried about competition from Joe.  Leanne does an impression of a spy, creeping around the work room.  Suede says he would like to be a spy but he is fearful that his blue hair might give him away.  Kenley asks for reassurance from everyone.  She insists that she’s happy only making one piece even though everyone else is making three pieces.  She interviews that she’s going to stand out the most, and I am confused about the purple feather shoulder caps she is wearing.

Tim arrives for his walk-through.  He says he’s ‘not getting’ Suede’s outfit.  He tells Leanne her fabric is a phenomenal color, but the jacket over the top is too long and she has thinking too do.  Joe proudly shows off his outfit.  Tim says he’s being ambitious, and to watch his time.  Korto show’s Tim her layered dress and jacket.  He says to ‘work work work’!  Tim tells Stella to be cohesive because that was the problem the judges had with her in the last challenge.  Stella contradicts him and says that they didn’t understand her vision and that the ‘stylist with the mu-mu and the oversize waistband didn’t know any better.’  Tim offers an apology to Rachel Zoe.  (snort)  Stella, in a kiss of death soliloquy tells the camera that she isn’t going to change a thing about her outfit.  So there.

Taking a cue from Stella, Jerrell is in the community kitchen in his underwear pouring milk in his cup.  His underwear are zany, but they do not detract from his nice ass.

Back at Parson’s!  Models are here, Bluefly.com accessories are advised, and everyone scurries around looking nervous as hell.  Then it’s hair and makeup and house music.  Tim shows up for the ten minute warning.  Joe says his outfit is a “very polished look.  So much so that it might get lost among the crap that is going down the runway.”  I say, that’s a pretty bold fucking statement there, Joe.  Leanne agrees with me.  She says Joe is overconfident in his design and his outfit looks like a cheap costume.  Tim says, “lets go!” and Jerrell and Blayne, who are examining their models as if they were their science day projects give eachother a ‘double high five’ and head out with everyone else.  Stella brings up the rear.  (DUM DUM DUMMMMM!)

RUNWAY.  Heidi arrives cheerfully to remind them that someone will be going home and she hopes they are ready to “wow” them.  She introduces Michael Kors, Fern Mallis (Senior VP of IMG magazine), and legendary fashion designer DvF.

Joe is the first to show, and he has a poorly made oriental-inspired high-necked backless blouse with a strange black hooded wrap lined in hot pink.  And a plain black skirt.  It is odd.  Next comes Leanne’s outfit, which is fucking AMAZING.  I mean, it could easily be on a red carpet.  An indigo silk Grecian draped gown with plunging neckline, thin patent leather belt, and a sassy little overcoat.  This is amazing, and I’m pretty sure after this challenge and last week’s Leanne is a major contender for Byant Park.

Terri’s outfit is really boring even with the godawful fireworks print blouse.  Jerrel’s outfit is NOT boring, but it looks like some kind of futuristic stewardess uniform, complete with metallic blouse and jaunty little hat. I’m not feeling it at all.  DvF looks nonplussed.

Korto’s got a full length dress in a black and white striped print with bright yellow accents on the strap and showing through the slit in the skirt.  It’s covered with a short black coat.  I actually think it is gorgeous.

Blayne made a pair of paperboy-style pants with a gorgous black overcoat.  I think Blayne really stepped it up in this challenge.  His outfit is artistic and looks extremely well-made.  Suede made a long, camouflaged dress with a herringbone sleeveless jacket.  It is as weird as Joe’s outfit, but not as flashy.  Stella’s model appears wearing a pair of pants with a vest and a magician-style black cape.  The pants and vest fit terribly and the cape is a cheese fest.  Finally, Kenley’s dress comes out and despite her high hopes, it’s pretty fug.  It simply is not enough to stand on its own against the other designers’ outfits and I think it makes the model’s body look disproportionate.

Top Three: Korto, Kenley, and Leanne with Leanne winning for kicking everyone’s ass soundly for two weeks in a row.

Bottom Three: Joe, Stella, and Suede with Stella losing for making an outfit that makes her model look frumpy.